Just Can't Stop
I can’t stop the tears. They just flow out of my eyes and stream down my cheeks and drip off my chin. I’m not sobbing. I just can’t stop the tears. The same way I just can't stop my heart. I know it sounds silly. I mean, 6 years have gone by with no answers so it’s not really shocking when the doctor says, “There’s really not much else we can do.” But somehow it crushes my spirit anyway. It’s like I’m a balloon and all the air inside me has just been let out. I’m left wrinkly and deflated. Because I get up and I go to appointment after appointment and test after test and I hope and I hope. Maybe this time they will find evidence. Maybe this time will be different. All that hope, wasted. Again. I choked it all back as I sat there under his watchful gaze, willing myself not to let my eyes fill more than they already had, willing the tears not to spill over the edge of my lids. I stared at the pink poster on the wall across from me and blinked, trying to get the tears t