HeartStrung

If you ask me how I'm doing you are likely to hear me say, "I'm okay." But...how I'm really  doing is so much more complicated than a quick reply to a passing question. I'm in a rough patch. It's been going on since school started at the beginning of September. Even though Mr. Amazing does the entire morning routine while I sleep, somehow I'm at least as exhausted as he is, possibly more. Whether or not I'm in charge of getting the clones off to school in the morning or not, school season brings with it a lot more activity. Our days are fuller. Or their days are fuller. And somehow it's affecting me, regardless of how involved I am in the busy. I can't get back to my base level of sick. Maybe it's all the car rides and the fact that the clones actually need clean clothes so the laundry has  to be done. Maybe it's the way we end up juggling dinners around soccer schedules. Maybe it's all the blood draws and doctor app

“Brain fog is needing a reminder to remind you what your reminders are for.” — Selena Marie Wilson One thing most of us chronic illness warriors have in common is brain fog. It's like driving at night through heavy fog, when your headlights are bouncing off the moisture in the air and you can only see a few feet in front of you. You're not exactly sure where you are. You're not sure how soon the corner you need to turn at is approaching or whether or not you've passed it already, or wait...were you even supposed to turn? It is a couple bounds past "pregnancy brain" and a few leaps short of dementia. It is not being able to remember the names of teenagers you've known since they were in kindergarten. You open your mouth to cheer for them during a soccer game but their names won't come into your mind quickly enough. You echo the other parents around you, hoping no one realizes your slightly delayed cheering. You never know what day it is. You