HeartStrung

expanding my lungs feeding my entire system: precious oxygen

knitting, while outside, fresh drops fall on the window ushering in spring

as snow turns water, sun comes closer to earth and birds return

 Everyone is so excited to be sort of, possibly, probably, in small ways, coming out of pandemic life and "getting back to normal." I want to punch something or cry every time I hear, read, or otherwise take in someone else's feelings about this. As I inspect these feelings, I've come to realize that I've got layers on layers of trauma surrounding the pandemic. My trauma differs from the trauma that all the "normal" people talk about because it's compounded trauma. For example, pandemic isolation for me comes on top of a growing isolation that had already been happening for 9.5 years before the pandemic started. And my isolation won't end when pandemic isolation ends for all the healthy able-bodied people in my life. It won't end probably ever. And that's just one example.  I feel trapped a lot lately. This isn't a new feeling for me. I have a sense that I've felt imprisoned more often than not in my life, penned in on all sides a...

photo by Oliver Hihn via unsplash before the world wakes there's a moment of stillness then the sun rises