HeartStrung

Dear Fellow Warrior, You are sick but it isn't your fault. This can happen to anyone. Right now, you are that anyone. I know what people have said to you. It has also been said to me. I know it hurts. I know you walk away from the conversation feeling as though that person is right. That one way or another you deserve  this or caused  this to happen or that you are even causing  it to continue. But what they said is not true. This is not your fault . Disease does not discriminate. This did not happen to us because we are negative. This did not happen to us because we don't have enough faith. This did not happen to us because we deserve it. This did not happen to us because we've made mistakes in the past. This did not happen to us because we are imperfect. This did not happen to us because there is something wrong with who we are. This just happened. And it happened to us. Just because someone says something does not make it true. I'm not saying that ...

I wrote this post almost a month ago but didn't publish it because I was still trying to wrap my mind around everything. I was upset and frustrated and feeling pretty hopeless. I offer it now, even though it is totally after-the-fact and included an update at the end.  I saw my general practitioner a few weeks ago. I needed to discuss a medication with him and wanted his help figuring out which specialists to see next and what to do for myself as my health continues to decline. It was one of the worst appointments I've ever had with my general practitioner. I did get my referrals but I also got some things I wasn't expecting. This man has been my doctor for 13 years. He has watched my children grow up since birth. He stitched Clone 1's face back together, in office, after she took a tumble and cut herself open. He was the first person I saw when I started feeling unwell almost 5 years ago. He typically has a way of setting me at ease about whatever is going on...