This Way Toward Disaster

Photo by Maksym Kaharlytskyi on Unsplash

the thoughts that fill my mind

get me lost every time

i listen because

she is incessant

because

ignoring her is impossible

her voice leads into a labyrinth

where every turn is toward self-destruction

turn right: find fear

turn left: insecurity

straight: unending grief

behind: self-hate

the way out is blocked.

i stumble through the passages

toward every dead-end

my face tear-stained

her voice a brutal attack

against my core.

this path creates confusion

this one unmakes me

shreds my self-respect

i have nothing left.

she makes me unwhole.

i have forgotten that in listening

i need not believe

i need not internalize

every utterance as truth

but it's too late. i am

disoriented

unhinged

too far from home

This post was inspired by a monthly theme from illuminate, a writing community from the creators of The Kindred Voice.

Read more on this month's theme, Lost, written by other illuminate members:

HeartStrung