HeartStrung

One day of my life as seen through haiku. 4 a.m. warm sheets, quiet house cats cry, ready to go out I am half asleep 5 a.m.  clicking corner fan I count, 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . . 5 when will sleep return? 6 a.m. cat knocking at door tap, tap, tap, I rise again she goes straight to food back down in bed now my body aches head to toe; stiff joints are the worst 8 a.m. click, squeak, rustle, snap; little sounds bring me awake everyone is up time for me to rise there are things to do today; nothing important 9 a.m. cutting table out strewn with paper and fabric I’m ready to work (but . . . )  motivation lacks scissors remain on table; I’m indecisive 10 a.m. warm water on skin sweet mimosa flower smell my body gets clean joints no longer ache I can reach my feet again and have no tick bites 11 a.m. daughter emerges lunch time from virtual school; different every day an interruption: Florida calls for Andre . . . it's still wrong number 12 p.m. juicy tomato oozes liquid as it...

crisp cool cotton sheet light creeping up horizon eyes open slowly

frosted window panes crisp white grasses frozen stiff: first frost of autumn

at night when you dream you dream with your whole body it keeps me awake

The rain comes      it streaks down the window pane and taps on the roof. People run     their muscles flexing and contracting with each extended stride         like works of art in motion,             but they all still get wet. A man crossing the parking lot       loses his shoe          o ne...two...three steps                 before he realizes his wet foot. A man with a beard,      pale skin in shorts,           walks casually through the down pour               c arrying his paper bag of goods                     from the top. He feels some small giving-way     and quickly reaches down to hold the bottom        ...

 I have been sewing a lot lately. It is a feel good activity for me with the added bonus of a new, finished something at the end. While I have known how to sew for the large majority of my life, sewing is one of those wonderful activities for which there is always more to learn, whether it be a new construction technique or a new method or a new tool. There is always another thing out there that I didn't yet learn or another product that I haven't yet tried to make. This is a big reason why I never really tire of the act of sewing. I may get tired of making a particular thing (um, hi, face masks...I'm looking at you) but, pick a new goal and it's like a totally fresh game. I love that about sewing. Sewing is also a little bit like life.  When we're born into the world we don't know how to do life but here we are and we just begin with the very first thing: breath. And then we just keep going forward from there. Learning as we go. There is always something new to...

  Dear Reader, Are you out there?  This month in my writing group our theme is "Trust" and I have so much to say on this theme. First off though, I wanted to address you because I have failed you by disappearing, again . I remember when I first got sick and I was desperately searching for answers and connections and really just anyone or anything that could relate, blogs were such a safe haven for me. Every once in a while I would find one that sounded like me and I would devour it, post by post, hoping for answers for myself. There was one I will never forget. The writer described almost exactly the same symptoms and progressions as me. It was incredible. But then the posts just stopped. The writer never said if they got a diagnosis. They never said if they got resolution. They never said if they got sicker or more well. I was left just hanging there wondering, which was all too similar to the same experience I was having with my body. It was so...disappointing and discourag...